Resurrecting the Slang of My Youth

Bochuggie is a word that may be indigenous to my family. It was popular with all the little Martz's during our teenage years in the late '60's. It means, "to wig out, usually over something insignificant."

Example: When my parents see the "Frank Zappa" tattoo on my forehead, they're gonna have a bochuggie.

Chinese Spam

My brother is a creative genious. Really. He could make a lot of money with his recent invention only he doesn't want to market it. So I decide to do it for him.

First we need to manufacture it. In his prototype he used a tiny part he hacked out of a product bought at a dollar store. Read this as - Made In China. The part is essential to the success of our venture only neither of us knows what it's called. We'll just have to work around that.

I start my search for the gizmo at Alibaba It's a Chinese-based operation, sort of a dating service for buyers and sellers. I fill out the usual registration information - name, email address, etc. and get busy. I spend an entire day searching fruitlessly for a supplier of this item-without-a-name then decide on a new approach. If I can't go to the supplier, let the supplier come to me. I'll use the "Post Buying Leads" feature.

I attach a photo of the cannibalized part to the advertising form. Next, I'm asked to provide a concise description of what I want. Since I don't know what it is, I wing it. Then I must fill in some key words. Those are pretty easy, I explain what it does. A description of what we want? "Like the item in the photograph." They want to know about our business, I make up a bio. What do we expect to pay? How do I know? I guess ten cents a unit sounds good.

Then I'm supposed to put in a "nice" request, an invitation that will entice suppliers into doing business with us, something to woo them. I write, "We are looking to form relationship with supplier based on trust and happiness." It sounds like a message inside a fortune cookie but I can't think of anything else.

I'm nearing the end and hit a wall. I have to fill in some boxes and the example given is "10~1000." Anyone know what this means? I sure don't. Maybe it's a price range so I put ".10~.20" Done!

I hit the submit button. Nothing happens. I scroll down the form and right in the middle, in tiny print, is the following: Failure due to --- the reason is written in Chinese! I bet it's those boxes. I change them to look like the example "10~1000", hit submit, and I am in.

After all that effort I've heard nothing. Nobody writes. Nobody calls. All I've gotten is an inbox full of Chinese spam. Hear my head against the wall? Bang. Bang. Bang.

I Don't Know What This Means

I'm driving along in Tennessee. It's Sunday morning, nothing but churches and flea markets are open at this hour. The highway goes up, up, up until it reaches the top of a mountain, then down it goes dipping and curving like a roller coaster ride.

A sign beside the road tells me there's a flea market ahead. The next three signs describe the treasures to be found there:

Knives and Swords

Sam's Quilts

Nothing Unique

The last one makes me want to stop. What do they sell? White socks? Ketchup? Marine engines? Don't you want to know? I may have to mosey on back and find out. If I do, I'll let ya'll know. In the meantime, take a gander here and read more about the interesting oddness of country life, or so it seems, when seen through the eyes of this city gal.